((Invites only)) Taruinia

[Grell]

I'm thinking of stuff... Stuff that no one knows about and no one has the answer to.

[Kyro]

Sounds like fun.

[Grell]

No, its not. I don't care what sarcasm the might've been, but I need to know things. I need to figure stuff out, but I can't. I don't know how I'm supposed to.

[Kyro]

Maybe I can help...?

[Aiden]

I'm sure you've said that already.

And Isleein, I wasn't thinking of fear either.


Well Rain, you've said that you've been thinking about things, and things and more things in which you don't think anyone can help you solve, but if you don't allow anyone to try, you'll be stuck thinking the same things over and over again without any real answers.

[Kage]

I already tried but i failed

[Grell]

I've asked these questions before to many people, and still no one has been able to answer me. I will ask them again, and still, I believe I will recieve the same answers. The answers I seek are forbidden to be told to me, I think, as far as I've figured out. Secrets that I can't know until I'm ready. Things that I'll just know what the time is "right".

But no one can tell me my answers. And time is growing so very short.

[Aiden]

Well it would be ever so helpful if you posted these questions, as to referrence or when these answer come around time to telling you. You might not even know it but the answer could be told quicker than you think.

[Lirial]

Rain... I don't belive Tobias is under the same restrictions that many of the others are. If I'm right it's Chaos who's restricting this isn't it? So it wouldn't affect Tobias as it does the others....if I guessed right....

[Aiden]

Yes, you are right, and I'm willing to help you out as much as I can.

[Grell]

Oh really? You think you're so high and mighty that when the others couldn't give me the answers I needed, that you could? Restrictions... Aren't the only thing.

Fine then. You are about to see into the deepest, most troubling thoughts of my mind. Maybe they won't seem so bothersome to anyone else, but they bother me. They worry me. And I want to know. My whole being aches to know these things.

Who was I? What was I? What have I forgotten? Just how powerful was I? What did I do? Who was I meant to be? What am I supposed to do?

What was my relationship with people? Did I know them? Who was I? Who am I now? Am I really the same person? Will I change if I remember? Will I be strong? Was I strong? Can I be strong? Can I protect them? Will I be able to? What if I fail?

What happened in Bersail? What did I do? Am I a monster? Will I lose it again? Did I lose it before? Did I do it on purpose? Did I know what I was doing? Did I cry? Why did I do it? What happened? What really happened in Bersail?

Who was it in that dream? Ifrit's younger brother? That's who it seemed like. I still don't know. Will I ever know? Who was he? What was he to me? Friend? Family? Did I betray Aicrel? I don't think I did... What happened when the dream cut off? Why was I in Bersail then? Was he really Ifrit's brother?

Why does it hurt to try to remember? I want to remember so badly, but I can't. Why can't I? Why don't I dream anymore? Black, tireless sleep. Black thorns. The thorns haunt my thoughts. Why are they there? Who's are they? Are they Darkness's? Or just a remnant of memories?

Who was I? Who was I meant to be? What am I supposed to do? What is my destiny? When does my story end? Will my role be over after I get them home? Will I be unimportant then? They'll forget about me... They'll all leave me alone again... I'm just supposed to get them home. I worry. What am I really meant to do in this world? What is my purpose?

Why do I want to cry? Why am I so lonely? Why do I see this world so objectively? I don't care about the people here. Why don't I care? Why does it bother me that I don't care?

Why do I feel ice inside my chest? Its so cold... Why is it there? Why does it hurt?

What if something happens to Kage? What if I can't get them home? I worry so much about them... Why can't I protect them and keep them safe and happy? Why can't I do my job?

Who am I meant to be?

[Aiden]

Since I don't want to take the extra time in using my color and font choice I'm just going to go plain.

Oh really? You think you're so high and mighty that when the others couldn't give me the answers I needed, that you could? Restrictions... Aren't the only thing.

Fine then. You are about to see into the deepest, most troubling thoughts of my mind. Maybe they won't seem so bothersome to anyone else, but they bother me. They worry me. And I want to know. My whole being aches to know these things.

What I don't know is why you think I'm assuming myself as high and mighty. I'm only just trying to help

Who was I? What was I? What have I forgotten? Just how powerful was I? What did I do? Who was I meant to be? What am I supposed to do?

You were and still are Rain. You were similar to a half angel. You were no more powerful than you father, although since Chaos did create you as a weapon, you were made to be stronger than Darkness. You were meant to be a weapon, a slave to the throne. To do what Chaos order and yet at the same time still be free although after he found out what he could make you do, he decided against your freedom. When you recieve all the information you can, when all of your questions have been answered, you will know how to defeat your father's strength and will against your freedom, and the one you have saught vengence on, Darkness.

What was my relationship with people? Did I know them? Who was I? Who am I now? Am I really the same person? Will I change if I remember? Will I be strong? Was I strong? Can I be strong? Can I protect them? Will I be able to? What if I fail?

Overall, you were generally kind although fairly innocent. Even though you were normally on jobs for your father, you would get along nicely with whomever you got in contact with...usually. You never knew people when you saw them, unless they were around you when you were growing up. You were Rain, you were a generally saught after nice overall person, with a tangent evil side as well. Now you are that which Earth and your Earthen parents have formed you into being. Now, as from experience and knowledge and overall sighting of your self now, you are not the same person you were in Taru. You will change when you remember, not if. You are strong now, you will be strong, and yet after trainning you will be the same strength you were before your death. You can protect who and what you want. Rain, never doubt yourself, for if you do you will be more inclined towards failure.

What happened in Bersail? What did I do? Am I a monster? Will I lose it again? Did I lose it before? Did I do it on purpose? Did I know what I was doing? Did I cry? Why did I do it? What happened? What really happened in Bersail?

You destroyed the entire town. You were upset because Chaos wanted to sexually molest you, rape you. You are not a monster for that was the only time something so fierce happened. You will not lose it again, you have learned, you now know, and everything said here will carry on with you to your arrival back in Taru. Well, if you destroyed an entire town, it means you lost it before. You didn't do it on purpose, your head was full...like when you go to think in WalMart. You weren't thinking about what you were doing, because if you were, you would have stopped. At the end of your rampage, you didn't cry until a few days later when it finally sunk in. You stayed with Aicrel for the time being, because of what your father wanted.

Who was it in that dream? Ifrit's younger brother? That's who it seemed like. I still don't know. Will I ever know? Who was he? What was he to me? Friend? Family? Did I betray Aicrel? I don't think I did... What happened when the dream cut off? Why was I in Bersail then? Was he really Ifrit's brother?

I cannot answer this for I do not know what your dream was about. I would ask Dream.

Why does it hurt to try to remember? I want to remember so badly, but I can't. Why can't I? Why don't I dream anymore? Black, tireless sleep. Black thorns. The thorns haunt my thoughts. Why are they there? Who's are they? Are they Darkness's? Or just a remnant of memories?

You were never meant to remember anything after your death. You can't because you weren't supposed to. I don't know why you don't dream. Some dreams come and go as they please or if Dream or Raven decide otherwise. The black thorns exist in most woods. They're mainly near those who came from Darkness, so they surround the woods near Ethryl, if Aicrel lives in or near the woods then him too.

Who was I? Who was I meant to be? What am I supposed to do? What is my destiny? When does my story end? Will my role be over after I get them home? Will I be unimportant then? They'll forget about me... They'll all leave me alone again... I'm just supposed to get them home. I worry. What am I really meant to do in this world? What is my purpose?

You are asking a lot of the same questions over and over again. You will never lose your role, because everyone "plays a part" even though it may not seem as though you have a role, you do, everyone does. You'll all find each other once you get there. You're not just getting them home, you're getting yourself home too. Your destiny, along with everyone else's destiny is unchosen at the moment, right now you and everyone else have one thing to do and that is to get yourselves home. Fortunately or unfortunately your story won't ever end because you can't die. In this world, on Earth, you're meant to do what you want really. Earth has it's rules, it's boundaries...that which is set by your government, so technically you haven't anything you're meant to do, except help and be helped along your journey to return. Your purpose is that which was set by your mother and father...that which you were meant to do. On Earth you're supposed to find everyone and in that you're all supposed to help each other get back home.

Why do I want to cry? Why am I so lonely? Why do I see this world so objectively? I don't care about the people here. Why don't I care? Why does it bother me that I don't care?

You're not alone. You're heart feels it and your brain and chest feel it because Aicrel isn't there. You see Earth so objectively because it's not what you want, it's not how you view things to be. Earth doesn't have much of anything in relavance to Taru. You care, just not about those who don't matter. All Earthens, besides you 12 and supposedly one other, don't matter. They're numb and brainless, they have been developed into drones of the government. It bothers you because you've been washed.

Why do I feel ice inside my chest? Its so cold... Why is it there? Why does it hurt?

Your love. You should ask Aic.

What if something happens to Kage? What if I can't get them home? I worry so much about them... Why can't I protect them and keep them safe and happy? Why can't I do my job?

I don't know what would happen to Kage. Nothing should. You'll get them home and safe at that. The date, the time, the agreement of the gods and higher beings is all you should really worry about. You can't protect them because right now you are only but a mortal along with everyone else. Remember on Earth you are mortal, you cannot do much as a mortal.

Who am I meant to be?

This question is one you'll be able to answer yourself through time. This question is something that those around and yourself will easily be able to answer. Just ask.

[Aiden]

There's something wrong with Nia. I have a feeling it's got something to do with that boy...

[Kyro]

Araya added Felix to the list of people in her head. He spoke with her lastnight and decided to stay so he wouldnt over croud Kege's brain.

[Aiden]

What happened in 433?

[Kyro]

Hu?