Absolute Anime

Nia wrote:Rain, what is wrong with you? It's bothering everyone. Nia especially. She really sorry about yesterday.
She along with so many people don't want to feel alienated just because your mood. I can understand if not
being here is making you insane, but that no reason to have people pity you or in turn yell at people
because of something that's going on in your life.

First off, the things I'm saying here aren't to be mean. They aren't to be cruel. They are the truth as I know it. I am only responding and saying what I feel is neccassary. Which it probably really isn't. But they're things you should know.

There is nothing wrong with me. This is how I was until I met you guys. I've mellowed out ALOT since middle school. It was never something I wanted you to see.

Why should she be sorry? She doesn't have to be. No one does. Its my fault, and I've accepted that.

And why would anyone feel alienated?

Also, I don't want anyone's pity. I hate pity.

Nia wrote:Nia normally wouldn't wrestle with anyone besides
maybe Francis, but if you need it, she welcome to wrestle with you. She just wants you to be better again.
We all do. I just hope you'll be willing to do something about it and hope you'll be willing to take her offer.
She feels that it's mostly that the fact that you've been alone this weekend and Nia hasn't been over at your
house is what's motivating this, so if you need her to be there tonight or tomorrow night or whatever, she'll
willing to do what you need. Even if it is just that you need to talk or fight or bicker or whatever. It's good for
you to get stuff like this out. We [everyone] just wants you back. The not insane Rain we saw yesterday,
and the somewhat happier Rain in days past. And if it means practically killing myself to help you, or in
Nia's case practically killing herself to make you feel better, she's completely willing to do so.

I was with Kage saturday, and spent the night at her house sunday. I wasn't alone all weekend.

I don't want to wrestle with anyone.

And I'll never feel better. Maybe I don't want to feel better. I don't want you to forgive me. I don't want you to keep pulling me back in. I'd rip my heart out and give it to you, but unfortunately, I need that to live, so I'll keep the pain it gives me.

Nia wrote:Rain, I'm so sick of your attitude, your belief that you're a terrible, horrible monster that all your doing is destroying those you love. Well, trust me your right, you're killing everyone. I really do hope you're happy, you're content with yourself and your actions. I hope you're real [censored] proud of yourself.
But what I hope the most is that you come out of this and come out of it quick, you don't know how many people you could lose to this behaviour, but you do, you should know who will always stay.

I have never been happy with myself. I will never BE happy with myself. I will never DO anything worth being proud of, and I will NEVER amount to anything. That's what I figured out early on. And I will forever feel completely and utterly alone.

In a room full of people, I alone do not exist.

Nia wrote:I feel that Kage's even getting to the point where she's sick of your [censored], but I don't know, it just seems that way. I know for a fact that even if you were to get to the point where you would KILL people if they didn't get away from you, Nia would still stand there. She would die by your hands if it meant never leaving... if it still meant being your friend. I just hope you would've realize this earlier.

Kage SHOULD be sick of my [censored]. And everyone else along with her. Do they get tired of it, yeah. But do they ever really leave? No. Not yet. Yet. I say yet because elementary and middle school prepared me for when everyone leaves.

Nia wrote:Rain, I'm sorry about yesteday.

If you want to go out in the woods sometime, like up at mount simon, I'm willing to go with you. I'll be willing to do whatever, even if that whatever doesn't mean you're going to automatically be happy. I just want to be there with you.... no matter what.

Because frankly, yesterday in the Library, didn't scare me. Kinda bothered me, but it didn't scare me and I've never seen you like that before.

Its pretty hot today, isn't it? I think today for sure I'll go swimming.

Rain, I was more or less exiled early on for bullshit behaviour, but did I give up on any of you? No. I've watched you torment yourself with thoughts for many a moon, and have I ever hinted at going away? No. And I can guarantee everyone else is the same way, in the sense that they've seen your downs, but never thought of leaving you. We're in this together. Period. Talk to us, for [censored] sake. Let us understand. Let me understand, so I may better attempt at a distraction for a brief moment of serenity, however farfetched that may be. I only wish to help, as does everyone else. Allow us that leg, if you will. Let us be your assistance in coping. The gate opens tomorrow, from what I've gathered. It's only a matter of time. Please, be patient. Even though you're not that type, attempt. For your sanity, and for ours. I'll let you kick me in the shins if that helps =P Just, please, nothing stupid. And now swimming. >.O

Rain, I'll totally go swimming with you, if you want me to. Actually even if you don't want me to, I want to.

Along with this weekend, will you still have that thing going on?
I wanna at least participate SOME in that, if it's still going on.

And Francis asked today if anything was going on this weekend, like I totally think he's free...or something.

and I really wanna do something with him too, cause that would be super. :3

Also, I don't think even if you were trying to push me away, that I'd leave you.

I know you haven't always been happy with yourself.
I have a feeling that yesterday was like how you were in middle school, right? Even after your outbreak yesterday, Nia wasn't afraid, I wasn't afraid...somehow we knew this was coming. And her and I understand.
Whether it be stress or insanity or something else, doesn't matter, we're still here. Everyone will still be here. Some are still a little iffy about staying with you, but they should know that if they don't they're going to lose a lot more than just you. They'll lose the rest of us too.

What the [censored] do you mean no swimming? You can kiss my arse if you think I'm going to listen to you.

I don't see what anyone would lose. And they should be iffy about staying with me. I'm not an easy person to live with. I never have been, and I never will be. That's why I don't want to put anyone through this anymore.

Don't clump me in with kage. I control alot of what kage does and says. Not only that but [censored] kageshi poped up. Kage's never out. Sh'es been sleeping since you bit her!

Retards

Yeah, I am retarded. Thanks. I just love it when people point that [censored] fact out to me. Why don't you find something new to tell me, huh?

So why do you keep trying to talk to me? At lunch, then when I walked in, it was "Hi hi hi" trying to get my attention. What, you think I'll just drop everything like every other time and apologize and try to make things right? The only thing you've done is cement the fact that they're better off without me!

How the hell is ANYONE lost without me? I don't DO anything!

Kelly i would not be the person i am today if it weren't for you. i will never leave your side and you know it. we've had our ups and downs but that has never stopped me from being your friend.

Thanks Kyro for my short life biography. What KInd Of Dragon Do I Have?

Kage has other friends and family. Its not like I can't be replaced.

That Was uncalled for. i'm not here to make enemies.