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CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 26, 2009 7:52pm
by Gaming Goddess
I want your honest opinions here, does this sound sexual?

Rhythmic beatings against solid walls
Plaster loosened by a constant pounding.
Unable to tell when this darkness falls

Surrounded by a decaying mess
Of lost desire and eroded hope,
Clinging to the rich distress

Trappings of tattered envy and despair
Bright futures now just fading memories
Everything showing their deep wear.

Alone in an abysmal room
Fear long dissipated, left with cold reality
Absolutely nothing to have, no signs of doom

With no end in any sight,
Instincts fled, motionless in thought,
Just banging on in endless night.

Cracks begin to form after years
A slight crumbling to break the monotony
A slight intake of harsh fears

Sun beckons through an anomaly,
Time slips by, drawn by the light
Blinded at first, but beginning to see.

Looking through this gap in space
The rays dance, but do not warm
Seems the whole world has fallen from grace.

What point is there, to feel the sun?
When all that’s left is light and desert?
It’s meaningless, there is none.

Staring at the wall again, turned a regretful back
Dead eyes follow the broken walls
Against the hole, no lies, no more, a piece of plaster fills the crack.

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 27, 2009 7:17am
by SASSZAIN
o-O
Hell no.
It sounds morbid though.

I like it.
:( I wish I could write like this still... oh wait I can, I'm just lazy..



Anyways, why did you think it sounded sexual? The only part that could be linked to sex in the first stanza.

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 27, 2009 12:54pm
by Hardcore
Parts of it.. such as..
Gaming Goddess wrote: Plaster loosened by a constant pounding.
and..
Gaming Goddess wrote: Against the hole, no lies, no more, a piece of plaster fills the crack.
But then again. I'm a pervert.

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 27, 2009 7:16pm
by Gaming Goddess
Gaming Goddess wrote: With no end in any sight,
Instincts fled, motionless in thought,
Just banging on in endless night.
^ dirty. When I did a workshop on this poem, people laughed because everyone has the maturity of a 12 year old. Good times. But yeah

Thankies Sass :P Maybe you shouldn't be so lazy, eh?

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 27, 2009 8:38pm
by Hardcore
:(

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 28, 2009 4:29pm
by Biki
i thought most of it sounded sexual, but then again, my mind lives in the gutter. <3 sounded like someone was being smexed that didnt care anymore and just let themselves lay there and be abused. >.> but that's just my take. =@

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 28, 2009 11:20pm
by Gaming Goddess
Oh sweet, sexual abuse. XD I see it though. Whether or not that's what I intended, yeah, guess it doesn't matter.

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 29, 2009 11:06am
by Hardcore
GG, has inner sexual feelings being released in that poem.

And Biki, that's a nice outlook on it. xDDDDDDD

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 30, 2009 11:28am
by Biki
thats just what i got as i read it. XD! sounded like chick was like, "whatever, do what you want with me. i dont give a rats azz anymore."

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 30, 2009 3:27pm
by SASSZAIN
you can say ass biki..
Gaming Goddess wrote:
Gaming Goddess wrote: With no end in any sight,
Instincts fled, motionless in thought,
Just banging on in endless night.
^ dirty. When I did a workshop on this poem, people laughed because everyone has the maturity of a 12 year old. Good times. But yeah

Thankies Sass :P Maybe you shouldn't be so lazy, eh?
:( Prolly, But, I've lost meh motivation for alotta stuff. Its hard for me to motivate myself.. so I sorta just dont do much when it comes to creativity...

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 31, 2009 3:53am
by Hardcore
Should this be in Adult Discussions? We've kinda.. made this perverted.

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 31, 2009 7:22am
by SASSZAIN
just you XD
and biki

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 31, 2009 12:34pm
by Biki
nuh uh! XD! i just told it how i saw it. 8)

and i didnt say "ass" sass a frass because i dont curse...much. >.> azz is my leeway. =p my loop hole if you will. just as shiz and shiite and ish are my loopholes for [censored]. =@

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 31, 2009 3:41pm
by SASSZAIN
lmfao

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Mar 31, 2009 7:42pm
by Biki
how come we can say ass but not s.hit?

Re: CAPS GETS PEOPLES ATTENTION

Posted: Apr 01, 2009 9:16am
by SASSZAIN
Biki wrote:how come we can say ass but not s.hit?
Ever seen Loony Tunes?
Ass is a Donkey.
$#!+ Is, well, just a more vibrant way of saying crap, poop, poo, feces, or Fecal Matter.