The Problem With Love

[Grell]

Okay, this is the first time I've ever found anything that I felt the need to rant about on here. Enjoy.

So, I have this friend, I call him Francis, because he's a ginger and he looks like a Francis. Well, Francis doesn't believe in love. If you tell him you love him, whether its as a friend or even if my friend, who's his 'girlfriend' says it to him, he just says that he doesn't believe in it. And I asked him yesterday why, and he wouldn't even give me a real answer. Well, I was starting to get really ticked off and really upset and hurt, because he's my friend, and I love my friends. Not only that, but I have a long-distance relationship right now, and I'm constantly worried that someday my boyfriend won't love me anymore. But more than anything else in the world, I love him, so whatever makes him happy, I'll be happy with. I've never loved anyone so much as I do him, and what Francis said really struck me. I can't stop thinking about it all, because its such a complicated matter. If love doesn't exist, what are my feelings? Why do I care so much about this one guy?

So then today I was in phys. ed., and I was listening to another friend of mine read his essay for english. Incidently, it was on the very same topic. He doesn't believe in love either! And I was listening, and I was just stunned. What has happened to the world? Is there really no love? Is there not even hope? I listened to him, and I ended up talking to him a bit. I told him about how I love my boyfriend more than life itself, even though I know that's silly to say outloud, that's how I feel. And he told me that it wouldn't last forever. That in an amount of time, our love would run out. Well, of course, I argued this, but we didn't get much farther than that. Its left me with a renewed pain and trail of thoughts. What is love? Why does nobody want to believe in it anymore? What happened to the love that I used to dream of?

Last thing to mention is that my little sister sent me a forward the other day on my cellphone. It said not to trust men because to them love means "Legs Open Very Easy." And I was disgusted by it. Is that really all people think about? Sex? Is that what love is to people now? What happened to caring about a person, and wanting to share memories and make memories outside of a bedroom? Why are people so afraid to love for more than a one night stand?

And I've thought about this for two days now, and I still can't say that I know what the answer is. My friends have been hurt very badly, so I can understand their weariness with 'love', and I think my sister is living under the same misconception that everyone is. Love isn't about sex or making out or anything like that. That's lust. I once had a friend tell me that bi/gay relationships are only lust, that they can't really love eachother. If anything, I think most bi/gay relationships have more love in them than alot of straight couples these days. Most of the lust happens with men or women who want to just get with a guy/girl to have sex. Its disgusting, but in the end, its a part of human nature.

But it doesn't have to be either. I mean, love is a wonderful thing. People shouldn't be afraid of it. Yes, you have to be careful, because yes, there are going to be people out there that only want to hurt you. But if you find someone you trust and care about, and they trust and care about you too, then there's nothing wrong with eventually taking the next step. Risk is a part of life, and you have to take risks to be happy. Love is a part of being happy. Whether its loving your home, your friends, your family, or even something like a pet or a job. Love is love.

I want to help people understand that even though they've been hurt, there's no reason to shun love and say it isn't real. When you love someone, it can do amazing things. It can make even the loneliest times a little less lonely, and the darkest nights a little brighter. It can help you see the good side of life, and even change your view of things. Love hurts sometimes too, but you can't take the good without the bad. When they're away, it'll hurt like hell because you miss them. But when they get back, you hardly remember they were even gone.

Well, I don't know what everyone's personal beliefs are about love, but I've told mine. And I feel like this was something worth sharing.

[Biki]

I'm glad I read this. 1st off, there is love in the world. It is real. it does exist. People just tend to be afraid of it because they're afraid of being hurt.

These are 2 rants I've collected on the subject:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id= ... 3223724681
(tell me if you can't get to the post. i'll copy paste it elsewhere.)

[Gaming Goddess]

Romantic love is a lie.

[Biki]

I disagree with you, lover. Not everyone finds lasting love, but I don't think it's a lie. =[

[Hardcore]

How old were these people? They seem pretty naive.

I want to help people understand that even though they've been hurt, there's no reason to shun love and say it isn't real. When you love someone, it can do amazing things. It can make even the loneliest times a little less lonely, and the darkest nights a little brighter. It can help you see the good side of life, and even change your view of things. Love hurts sometimes too, but you can't take the good without the bad. When they're away, it'll hurt like hell because you miss them. But when they get back, you hardly remember they were even gone.

If everyone stopped believing in "love" because they've been hurt... I honestly don't know a single person who'd believe in it.

To me, love is undefinable. It's a feeling, one that words cannot express.

Romantic love is a lie.

I disagree with that.
I don't see how "romantic" love could be a lie, but the other "types" of love aren't.

1st off, there is love in the world. It is real. it does exist. People just tend to be afraid of it because they're afraid of being hurt.

That pretty much sums it up.

[Grell]

Francis is seventeen, I think. The boy in my phs. ed. is seventeen or eighteen. We're all seniors in high school this year. And my little sister is fourteen-fifteen, she's a freshman.

[Hardcore]

I see. Well, they're definitely too young to give up on love. If they've experienced it, it's only happened.. what.. once?
They seem to be generalizing off a few bad relationships, most of which probably werent too serious.

[Grell]

Yeah, I think its becoming a common occurance these days. But then, this generation knows everything, neh?

[Hardcore]

Of course.
I'm ashamed to be in the same generation with.. at least 80% of them.
Lol

[Grell]

Olol. Are we technically in the same generation? How are generations defined anyways? Is it grade in school? Such and such an age to such and such another? Hmm... I've often wonderd.

[Hardcore]

I don't know. How old are you?

[SASSZAIN]

its defined by your place in a family tree

your parents are a generation, your grandparents are a generation, and so forth.

pretty much a generation is about 20-30 years..
understand ?

[Grell]

Damn. That means I'm a part of the same generation as my little sister.

And I'm 17

[Hardcore]

How old is she?

[SASSZAIN]

LOL Yes, all siblings are part of the same generation.

Also, I checked with my Grandparents, and i was right in my definition of a generation.


Its okay though, I share the same generation as my 5 Yr old cousin ><
and i'm 21

[Hardcore]

That's lame.